The Journey

It has been a little bit of an uphill battle to get this first post written. I sat down to write it last night, and the words just weren't coming to me. That's probably best since it was 1:30 in the morning and at that time I think what I have to say may only make sense to me. I tried again earlier today, and my internet decided to go out. However, since I've had longer to think about what I felt I needed to share I think it's going to come out a bit better. That's usually the way it is with me with writing, I think it through, and when it's time I sit down and write with no problem. Jason asked me to write this as a sort of journal of our journey through our Monday night prayer time. I'm glad he called it a journey, because that's what it is. I think that our time together is going to lead to some stretching and growing for us. I think we forget sometimes that there is a process involved in growth. I don't remember if it was Oswald Chambers or something from "Experiencing God" that talked about God being more concerned about the process than the end result. In today's world we are so used to immediate results and convenience. I mean, we can make rice in the microwave in like five minutes. I was stopped at the light heading north on Kickapoo where it intersects with Independence and I saw someone inside Little Caesar's. They stood at the counter for awhile and then went and stood outside. In my head they placed an order and were waiting for it, I don't know if that is what happened, but that's the story I'm going with. The first thought that entered my head was, "Who actually prefers Little Caesar's pizza?" Little Caesar's doesn't have the best tasting pizza, but people continue to go there because of those hot and ready pizzas that also happen to be rather inexpensive. Sure, somewhere else might have a better tasting better quality pizza, but we'd have to wait. Who does that? I know that's something I forget when I pray. I ask God for something, say patience, and when I don't immediately feel more patient I get frustrated. Ha. God doesn't just give us the thing we pray for, He gives us the opportunity to develop those things. Keep that in mind as we pray, and be looking for those opportunities and remember it's a process, a journey. Things that take time and effort are more meaningful and longer lasting. We have to be willing to go through the process. It may be difficult at times, and we may want to give up, but if we push through it will be so worth it. I don't think we ever stop going through the process, until the day we see Jesus in heaven, but that just gives us something to look forward to.
I know there are a few difficulties I can see, for myself at least. One is the fear of praying out loud in front of others. I've been analyzing this fear (analyzing is what I do), and I'm not entirely sure where it comes from. I tell kids all the time that praying is talking to God just like we talk to anyone else. If I'm going to talk to my friend I don't take them away where no one can hear or even know that we're talking, I just talk to them. I also don't feel any pressure about what to say, it's just a conversation. A lot of people have this misconception that a prayer has to be full of big "church" words and that you must say something spectacular and impressive. That's not what the Bible says though. Jesus gave us an outline of how to pray in the Lord's Prayer (Matthew 6), and there's the parable of the pharisee and the tax collector (Luke 18) where the man with the humble heartfelt prayer is the one who went home justified before God. I think it matters less what we say or more how we say it and why. It needs to be from the heart and as we feel led. I think another thing will be a willingness to be vulnerable. Whether that means being vulnerable in actually praying out loud, or being vulnerable to admit a struggle or that we need prayer. We have to lay self aside and be willing to try something different if we truly want to grow- and continue in the process. Being vulnerable is scary because that means leaving an opening to be hurt. However, sharing a struggle could be a blessing to someone else who may be experiencing the same thing. Or maybe just realizing they aren't the only one struggling. Admitting we've messed up is the only way to truly fix our mistakes and change our ways. There are plenty of things to be afraid or concerned about, so I close with one of my favorite verses on that subject: "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."

I know I said I was ending, but I wanted to say one more thing. I can only write about my own thoughts, experiences and feelings as I feel led to share. Please feel free to comment at anytime, or email me if you have a post you would like put up, just send it as a word attachment and I can post it. I can't share with everyone else what process you are going through, so if you feel like you have something to share do not hesitate to do so!!